How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
