I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Watching her eat just hurts me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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