Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
