who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All I want is dick and wine.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
