i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
