erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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