you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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