shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
