and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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