Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
