We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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