Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
