Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize