So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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