I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize