Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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