you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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