Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
