Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
