this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You made out with two different species that night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
