remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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