Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
