I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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