So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
