In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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