I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
