I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
