Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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