he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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