there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
