glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I lost the right to judge tonight
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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