my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
