i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need water and some morals
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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