he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
