Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
