hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize