fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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