I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
