come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
