There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
