Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
