the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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