yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize