I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
