I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
