I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
