I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
