We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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