I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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