Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
