I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
There are leaves in my underwear?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
