Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
