I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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