I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
