I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
