we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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