hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm just crazy horny about you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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