I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
