I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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