gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she told me i tasted like america
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
