I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
