He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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