I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
