sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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