Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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