You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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