who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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