i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
