we're blogging at a bar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
