his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Damn victory sex feels great
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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