Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
