So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
