And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
