Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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