So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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