I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
