Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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